Dear Christina,
I wanted to know if there was a reason why I keep attracting men that are taken, men that have girlfriends, men that are in situationships, men that have a baby momma and kids at home, men that are married.
I never come across someone that is single, and most of the time that I’m meeting men who are taken, it’s unintentional. For example, I started a new job, and my boss was really cool at first, but then he started telling me that I have beautiful eyes and that I’m smart and that I’m this and that. I have guy friends that I’ve had for a while that are about to get married and want to sleep with me, even though I keep our relationship platonic. I have men that I’ve dated in the past and hide the fact that they are on and off with their ex-girlfriends.
Sometimes it makes me feel like I’m not good enough to be someone’s main anything, and I get stuck talking to these people that are taken. I’ve always been a flirty, really outgoing, chill person to talk to, but maybe it could be a boundary issue that I’m having? I would like to know what I could do different especially when it comes to people like my boss that are professing they have feelings for me, which is definitely something I don’t want. Please help.
-Natalie
Dear Natalie,
Thank you for writing in. I always say that often whatever we’re experiencing in our outer worlds, we are the cause of. Meaning: There’s something in our thoughts, our conscious beliefs, or our subconscious beliefs that are creating our experiences. For example, let’s say that you really want to be in a committed relationship with a loving, kind man. But subconsciously, you’re terrified of getting hurt. Your ability to manifest your desire to be in a loving, kind, committed relationship is being canceled out by the fear of being hurt.
Likewise, let’s say that you’re tired of only attracting to you men who are taken, or not available. In the video I talk about this in more detail, but if you want the pattern to end, then you have to look inside yourself to see what it is about YOU that’s causing unavailable men to be attracted to you. (Yes, there’s stuff going on with them as well, but I’m not here to coach them, I’m coaching YOU). So, for example, are you afraid of commitment yourself? Do you use men for attention or validation? Are you afraid of being hurt so you’re subconsciously creating experiences — through your thoughts — that will cause hurt?
Remember, where our thoughts go, energy flows. So if you’re constantly focused on a fear of getting hurt — if that’s where your thoughts are — then you can be sure you will create that scenario.
You see, for every effect in our lives, there is a cause. And one of the most powerful things I’ve ever learned is that we each have the power to change our experiences by changing our own inner patterns, pain, thoughts, and programming. And then, like magic, our experiences begin to change as well.
In the video I recorded for you, I go over all this and then some. I also go over why people in committed relationships cheat and/or enter into situationships with others and I tap into why you may be attracting these kinds of men into your life.
Chances are good, there are a few things likely at play. In the video I recorded for you, I go over a lot of them and I give you some solid tools and strategies to think about using — if you’re really ready to meet the man of your dreams. 🙂 Here’s the video:
I hope this coaching response has been helpful to you. Thank you, again, for writing in. It was pretty cool to reflect on some of my past experiences as well. And, btw, you are absolutely good enough to be someone’s main thing. Absolutely. You just have to believe it (consciously and subconsciously) and act according to it in thought and in deed. If anything else comes up, write to me again here.
With love, gratitude, grit, and grace,
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