Dear Christina,
How do I stop getting attached to people so quickly? This guy and I have been talking for a bit and decided to be friends with benefits and I really like him like a lot. But as of now he’s taking a break from social media, which is the platform we talk on, but I can’t help but to anxiously wait until he texts me back and it’s got me really emotional for some reason. I try to focus on myself and my own life, but the thought always pops up in my head. Needless to say, I keep thinking about him, but my mind is also telling me to just be patient, but that also isn’t my strong suit. Not sure what to do. Please help.
-Lala
Dear Lala,
Thank you so much for writing in and for sharing your question with us. I REALLY appreciate it because so many people go through what you’re going through and so the information I share in this post and in the videos I created for you will be really helpful and healing to SO many. (So, so, so, so many, Lala; I talk with people about this same situation all this time.) So, thank you!
I also broke up the coaching response I created for you into two videos because I actually feel there are two separate things happening and I wanted to be able to support you with both things. The first is that you’re wanting to know how to stop attaching to people so quickly and the second is that you’re wanting/needing help with how you’re feeling and what’s happening in your current attachment.
So I recorded you a video talking about your current attachment and I recorded another video talking about why we (as humans) sometimes attach to other people very quickly. Both videos are below.
I must say, I had a lot of fun recording these free coaching videos for you. 🙂 In the video when I’m talking about your current situation/attachment, I remembered the woman I used to be, and I remembered the feeling of my happiness being tied to whether a man returned my phone call or texted me back. I remember feeling so helpless, so stuck, and so confused as to wtf to do. Ugh. It is an awful feeling, and the thing is — it doesn’t have to be. So, I’m thankful you’ve reached out so that you don’t have to be stuck in the muck anymore.
Below is the video about your current situation. Now, because of the sensitive nature of the topic and the opportunity for conversations like this to get misunderstood using the written word, I’ve decided that it’s better if you just watch the video rather than me also write a bunch of words. Not only do I explain, in the video, what I think is going on for you, I also give you tools you can use to release some of the discomfort you feel over the constant obsession over this man and whether/when you’ll hear back from him.
As for the question you asked “How do I stop getting attached to people so quickly?”, below is the video I recorded for you to answer that question. And because this is a situation so many people go through, I felt like a separate video would be really impactful not just for you but for everyone who goes through the pattern of attaching to people very quickly.
I hope these free life coaching videos are incredibly helpful to you and help you to break through any old, worn-out patterns that don’t serve you anymore. And I really wanted to be sure to thank you, again, because there will be so many people helped by your bravery in asking such direct questions and sharing so authentically about what’s going on in your life and causing you stress/pain/harm. So, on behalf of everyone who needs to hear the messages I included in the coaching videos: THANK YOU!
Now, there’s a ton of information in these coaching videos, so I encourage you to watch them more than once if you need to — or take notes as you watch. And, of course, if you have more questions that bubble up or new situations in life that you need help with, please write in the comments section below or create a new free life coaching submission here. I’ve got you!
With love and gratitude,
P.S. This post may be helpful to you too as there are a ton of tools and suggestions on how to begin finding your own voice and your own vision for your life without needing another person/partner, etc to fulfill you. 🙂 xo
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