Why can’t I accomplish my dreams?

Dear Christina,

Here are my questions for you:

1. Why can’t I seem to accomplish my dreams?
2. Why do I negotiate against myself when it comes to doing the things that I know I should be doing, the things that I schedule myself to do?
3. Why am I still relying on a job rather than relying on myself and my own abilities to provide me with income?
4. Why do I get in my own way?

I started following a new internet personality. I really like what he has to say, despite him being very offensive to most people. After watching a lot of his content and joining his course, I realized how much of a lazy loser I am. I’ve been in the program for 3+ months and made $0. Whereas people younger than me (14-15 years old) are making $2000+ a month. Every day I say it’s time to get serious and that I am going to dedicate an insane amount of hours to it. But when the time comes, I don’t even login or watch one video. And by the end of the day, I’ve accomplished nothing.

Also, I put myself in a bad situation. I was offered a work from home job making $35hr doing data entry. But it turns out that job was a scam. They wrote me a bad check and my bank account is overdrawn -$4,400. I had no choice but to move back in with my mom because I could no longer afford to pay my rent and any other of my bills. At first I was really beating myself up for getting myself into this situation. But then I started to look back and realized the me who I was a year ago would of never even taken any action. So that made me feel a little better.

I also had to tell my mom and sister about what happened. Of course, I was fearful about what they would say. But to them it may seem like a dumb mistake, but for me it is what comes with being an entrepreneur and that is something they will never do.

So now I am back on the job hunt, and I had an interview yesterday. I thought it went really well. But one thing that bugged me and was in the back of mind was part of me was saying that I don’t belong here working a regular job — hoping that a company won’t fire me, finding a place with benefits. All that kind of stuff.

-Big “G”

Dear Big G,

Thank you for writing and sharing what’s going on with you. It sounds like life has thrown you some learning opportunities over the past few months — what others would call hardships.

I am grateful when life provides us opportunities to learn more, heal more, and grow more, and it appears that’s what happening for you. So let’s sort some of this stuff out.

First things first, Big G, let me say that it seems that you are experiencing a lot of resistance on your path. Resistance means that there’s something — almost like a force — that’s keeping you from doing certain things or taking action on certain things. I believe that resistance is an important indicator that something isn’t aligned. And when I say “aligned” what I’m referring to is the alignment with your best and highest path in life — aligned with your mission and the learning lessons that come with your mission.

So every time I encounter resistance, I take it as an indication that something isn’t aligned quite yet, because when things are aligned, things flow easily. It’s either not the right thing for me to do, not the right time, not the right way, not with the right person/people. And sometimes the resistance is highlighting some inner work I still need to do before it’s time for me to do [blank] thing.

In other words, resistance has meaning. It could be highlighting fears you have (conscious or subconscious). It could be highlighting “danger” in that there’s something “off” with doing [blank] thing. It could be highlighting a different way of doing something or it could be telling you there’s another place where you should be directing your efforts and energies — something that will flow much more smoothly for you.

So take a peek at the resistance you’re experiencing in moving your dreams forward. Also, take a look at the people you are associating with and determine if they are the best people to be rolling with. The reason I bring this up, specifically, is because in your submission you said that the internet personality you’ve been following is someone most people find offensive. The question I have for you is why would you want to learn from someone most people find offensive? What is it about what he does that you find appealing? Is it that he makes a lot of money doing what he’s doing and you want to make a lot of money too? What’s his character like? How does he treat people? Does he treat people in the way you would want to be treated?

I am a person who always guards my thoughts and I guard the sources from which I take in information and guidance. Because I know that garbage in can equate to garbage out. I also know the power of the mind and I know that we tend to take on the energies and patterns of those we associate with so I always tell people to be sure you choose carefully who you associate with, learn from and be sure you choose who you want to model. If you want to model this internet personality’s behavior, then continue to follow him and try to learn from his stuff.

However, I would suspect that the reason you can’t get yourself to do the work he assigns or finish the course and implement the strategies he teaches is because they are not aligned with you and your highest and best path. This doesn’t mean that his strategies are not aligned with another person’s best path — it just means it’s likely not aligned with yours. Every soul has a learning journey and we are each individuals with individual journeys and different experiences we are each being called to have.

Perhaps the internet personality’s strategies are not ones that actually align with how you want to show up in life. So rather than beat yourself up and call yourself a loser, check in to see if the way he does business is a way that you value. Does he treat other people fairly, respectfully, kindly? Is he honest in his business dealings and trustworthy? Do you value fairness, respect, kindness, honesty, and integrity in business, people, and in life? If so, you’ll want to learn from someone who will teach you how to be in the business you want to be in — in a way that’s aligned with what you value. Otherwise, you’re simply selling your soul for a dollar — and even if you make a lot of money, you won’t be happy or fulfilled. We cannot sell our souls and find happiness; the universe doesn’t work like that.

So check in to see why there’s resistance to following through with doing the coursework and stop comparing yourself to someone else. The second we compare ourselves with others, we step out of our power and we put ourselves into a position of being “less than”. I lovingly say to you that what other people are having success at is none of your business. Your business is to figure out why you are having success or why you’re not.

The other reason why you may not be able to follow through with the course work and begin to implement the strategies is because there are limiting beliefs or subconscious beliefs/patterns that are blocking you from being able to create what you want. For example, let’s say you want to make a lot of money, but then you have this fear inside that you’re not smart enough to make a lot of money. The limiting belief of not being smart enough will cancel out the desire — every time. It’s like you’re sending mixed messages to the Universe. Bring me this, no wait … don’t. I’m not smart enough to have it. So what you want to do is look at your belief structures and analyze if there are areas where you are limiting your ability to manifest and create what you want.

What do you desire to achieve in your life and do you believe your desires can come true? If you don’t, write out all the reasons why not. These are your limiting beliefs. As you read every limiting belief, begin to ask yourself, “Is this limiting belief true? Is there something I need to learn in order to make it untrue?” Because anything you can dream, you can do. You just have to change the thought process you have about your abilities; you have to change your beliefs — and that’s a deliberate process of checking yourself and checking in with every thought you have and changing the thoughts that are the opposite of what you want. For example:

Limiting Belief: I want to make a lot of money, but no one in my family ever has, so I’m not sure I can either.

Empowering Belief: I want to make a lot of money. No one in my family ever has, and I’m excited to be the first.

The empowering belief example above gives you a natural outlet to begin looking for the ideas and opportunities that will help you with your desire to be the first in your family to make a lot of money. By using empowering beliefs, you’re actually open to being able to receive the intuitive bursts of information that will guide you to the opportunities that will lead to your dreams coming true. You’re also open to being able to see opportunity when it appears before you, and you’re open and able to capitalize on it accordingly.

In the limiting belief example above, your beliefs close the door on any future progress in the direction of your dream. There’s nowhere for your dream to live — you closed the door on it. It’s dead.

Make sense?

In the free coaching video I recorded for you, I go over this in more detail. I also talk about a concept called making the unfamiliar familiar. The reason you could be stalled in moving forward in your dreams could also be that the future you want to create is unfamiliar and so your brain is constantly blocking you from doing the work required to create it. Our brain will always try to keep us in familiar territory because that’s what it knows and what it believes is safe for us to do. Your job is to build new patterns and programs into your brain by giving it new commands, new information, and new habits so that it can use this new intelligence to build new patterns and programs.

In the free coaching video I give you a visualization exercise to use that will assist you in retraining your brain and preparing your brain for the upcoming changes so that it stops resisting it and it stops giving you more of the same old habits and patterns that keep you stuck in the same old experiences and feelings you no longer want to have (of not being able to accomplish your dreams).

I also give you some tools and strategies for shifting the way you think about working for someone else, and getting a new job, because as long as you stay in a negative place about work, you’ll stay in a negative place about work and work will feel icky to go to and do. And the truth of the matter is this: you can’t create a high vibe situation if you’re in a low vibe yourself. Like attracts like. So you have to raise your thoughts about where you’re at and be grateful for what you have now, while also being excited for the opportunities that are coming your way (even if they’re not exactly what you want to be doing) because gratitude will bring forth more things to be grateful for and that’s the vibration you want to be in when you cause the life you want to live.

Below is your coaching video. I hope it’s helpful to you. 🙂

Should you have any other questions or thoughts, please reach back out and either leave a comment below or create a new submission. Dream big, Big G. I believe in you. You’ve got this!

With love, gratitude, grit, and grace,